Dutch swear words: the guide to insults and cursing in the Netherlands

Need some Dutch swear words? Welcome to your Dutch swear words guide, where I’ll teach you all the Dutch insults you’ll need for life in the Netherlands.

You see, Dutch curse words are very different to English curse words, often verging on the… incredibly distasteful.

Whether you want to yell at a misbehaving Brit in Amsterdam, or you want to deepen your Dutch-learning experience, here, I’ll show some of the best Dutch swear words. 

(Naturally, as a perfect, idyllic human being, I do not condone the use of any of the following Dutch curse words, profanity or phrases and would NEVER use them myself). 😇

Having said that, let’s begin! And just like eating only one stroopwafel from the package (instead of all of them at the same time like a giant sandwich), it would be a crime not to start with the infamous Dutch “disease-based curses.”

🦠 Dutch curse words based on diseases

Have you ever been so angry at someone that you verbally express your desire for them to get cholera? No? How about typhoid fever? Still no?

That’s weird… At least for some Dutchies, because Dutch swearing quite frequently involves diseases.

That’s right. It is a well-known fact that wishing an illness upon your enemies is a common way to curse in Dutch.

It’s needless to say that the following Dutch swear words and phrases are frowned upon by Dutch society. The only other situation where you should use one of these is, well, never.

Alas, I’m trying to expand your knowledge of all things Dutch, so here’s a list of Dutch curse words and phrases that involve crippling, life-threatening diseases:

*It’s believed “pleur” comes from “pleuritis” which can be caused by pneumonia.

You’ll also often hear Dutch people use the word kanker (cancer) as an adjective, in front of something that they find, well, shitty. For example, kankerweer is cancer (shitty) weather.

But seriously, we can’t stress this enough: using cancer/kanker in your Dutch swearing is more than frowned upon — it’s a big no-no. 🙅‍♀️

Thankfully, there are other ways to swear in Dutch that don’t involve diseases. ‘Friendlier’ Dutch swear words exist and can be used to express anger without making life-long enemies.

👌 Everyday swear words in the Netherlands

In a country where you can literally bike next to tulip fields, it’s hard to think of situations where you would want to curse.

Of course, things like the weather or other inconveniences of life might incite you to curse under your breath.

Without the need for slurring out diseases, there are words/phrases you can say to express your discontent.

*While this sounds like the English C-Word, this is used very liberally in Dutch and doesn’t have the same severe connotations.

🤦‍♂️ Insults for men in the Netherlands

You just don’t insult a Dutch person without using the appropriate form of gender, that would be rude. So let’s get you up to speed with some of the most heard curses to sling at Dutch men:

🤦‍♀️ Insults for women in the Netherlands

💀 Racist swear words in the Netherlands

Jeeh, this is not a happy-go-lucky article. Despite the progressive outward image of the Netherlands, racism runs deep, and there are plenty of ethnic slurs in the Dutch language to prove it.

However, we don’t think that publicising these is going to benefit the world in any way — if you really want to know Dutch racial slurs (why?), we’ll let you Google that yourself.

👍 Appropriate alternatives to Dutch swear words

Obviously, we all need to vent a bit every now and then, even when you’re among your Dutch inlaws.

Just imagine someone using the knife on the cheese instead of the ‘kaasschaaf‘ without cursing something decent. 😱

So, here are a couple of Dutch swear words that I believe are (almost) totally fine to utter every now and then:

🌎 Foreign swear words in the Dutch language

Obviously, the Dutch are great English speakers, so naturally they’ve adopted their fair share of English profanity into the Dutch language: b*tch, f*ck and sh*t have really made it far here.

Luckily some other swears haven’t, and most Dutchies know better than to use the R- and C- words.

Thanks to Narcos, the Dutch also have a soft spot for hijo de puta (son of a b*tch) and the German Scheisse (shit).

Thank god we’ve reached the end; now let’s recover by watching a compilation of cute kittens playing. 

What other Dutch swear words do you know? Did we cross the line? Are you my mother, and do you want to berate me for all these Dutch swear words? Share in the comments below!